Well….aside from eating that gas station sushi, or that burrito from a taco truck you probably never should have stopped at in the first place, there are always worse options you can (hopefully) avoid. No….the Roadkill Cafe in Seligman, Arizona isn’t one of them…..it could easily get a lot worse…..to the point a trip to the emergency room….which would probably suck worse than gravity. I’m talking about buffets….whether Mexican, Chinese….etc…..you’re basically asking for a stomach virus on a plate. It happened to me, once…..at an all-you-can-eat pizza place in the not-so-great state of Michigan. Blowing out the bowels was only half of it……needless to say, I survived. Even truck stops aren’t immune to ailments that would make your grandmother shiver in fear. Don’t get me wrong, most truck stops have pretty high standards, but it’s the ones you THINK look good that catch you off-guard. Pepto Bismol, Immodium AD, and Alka Seltzer might be your only escape hatch. Sure…those enchiladas look tasty, but some restaurants…for whatever reason…..aren’t inspected on a regular basis. Enter the “No Eat Zone”. The place you will regret eating at, about a hundred miles down the road. Yup….the employees treat you good, because they think their food is good quality…..am I trying to make you paranoid about eating road food? Absolutely not……a good thing to have with you…..on your phone….is an app called Trip Advisor (no, they have no idea I mentioned them in this post. ALWAYS check the reviews of restaurants you may consider eating at…..it’s more reliable than the G**gle garbage. If you see a review for a dining joint that reads “mostly harmless”. you’ll probably want to avoid it……and if it looks like you need a hazmat suit to eat at a place……you’re probably in the wrong establishment. “Buyer Beware” ….even vending machines aren’t 100% ….sure……that tuna salad sandwich looks good…..but…how long has it been sitting there? Do yourselves a favor, and ALWAYS check legitimate reviews with the app I mentioned…I doubt seriously a trip to a hospital ER is “affordable”….and food poisoning is no laughing matter (roadrunner on a stick is not edible)…and will probably send you to a toilet faster than you can say “are we there yet?” A final moral to the story: always research where you want to eat….it could make the difference between where you can fill your stomach, and where you can fill a toilet.
Until next time,
Bon Apetite!